The past two days I have felt off. I've been tired, overthinking, doubting my goals and feeling as though my desires are too far out of reach. Yet this morning, I (very slowly) came to a realisation...
On the way back from picking up my groceries, I was listening to a podcast by my favourite business mentor about self-belief. I realised that I have a belief that I have to be on top of my shit, playing my A-game, feeling "high vibe" in order to be the best beauty therapist/mentor/business owner/friend/wife, which is absolutely not true. It made me ask the question: what if I can feel out of alignment AND still have success?
I realised my brain would need evidence, so I then asked myself: when have I felt out of alignment (felt "off") and still had success for myself or for others?
The last few coaching clients came to mind--I felt off about the way I had structured my program, yet I ran them all through it and they all came out on top. I also learned a lot about myself and business in those few months.
Then it hit me: I was a Life Coach. I AM a Life Coach. This was a DREAM of mine when I was 19. I have successfully achieved a dream of mine specifically how I wanted to achieve it. How am I only just realising the profound nature of this achievement?
Until 10am this morning, I had completely neglected to look at where I've been and what I've done with pride. Why? Because I was too busy looking to the future.
Deep down I believed that in order to be a good Life Coach or entrepreneur, I HAD to be high-vibe all the time and because I'm not always high-vibe that I am not good enough and therefore a failure.
Not only could that be farther from the truth, but it's such an unrealistic expectation. We are human. We will have our off days. Does that mean we are any less deserving? No! Does that means we won't achieve our dreams or manifest our desires? Hell no!
The problem with goal setting is not the goal or desire itself, nor is it the doubt that wavers in and out. The problem with goal setting is forgetting to celebrate what the younger version of you would have *died* for.
I've been doing this with my current goals too.
A goal of mine in my business has been to support myself financially and save up enough money to eventually buy a separate studio for my beauty therapy. I have been so hyper-focussed on the future goal that I started to resent my present. In reality, my present reality serves me so fucking well. I have an amazing life. It is filled with so much more love and abundance than I have ever had before. Sure, I am not earning as much as I want to yet, but I am so grateful for how my business is running now and all that it allows me to do and be.
So the next time you're future-tripping about where you want to be and how you're not already there. Stop for a second. Take a deep belly breath in. Exhale completely. And I want you to play with these two questions, just as I have today:
1) What do my present circumstances allow me to do?
2) What have I already achieved that my younger self dreamed of happening?
So often we get caught up in where we want to be or even comparing to where we have already been that we forget to acknowledge how good we have it now. This doesn't mean we can't reminisce nor that we can't allow ourselves to dream big, it is simply a tool to create more happiness in your life, for if we are always looking to the past or the future, we will never ever be satisfied, we will never celebrate our wins and we will constantly overlook the achievements we are making right now.
We also easily forget that our younger self had dreams, both big and small, for the version of us that exists now. When we acknowledge those dreams have been met, big (a family, a career, a state of being) or small (wearing a certain kind of clothing, cooking healthy meals), we learn that we can achieve our dreams, sometimes with minimal effort. We learn that even when we are feeling low, we can soar to great heights. Most importantly, we learn how to be happy.
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Ash xx
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