For many years, I've had mentors tell me my dreams weren't big enough.
Note: I will alternate between use "dreams" or "goals" or "aspirations" and for the sake of this post, I am referring to the same thing.
I get where they're coming from. They have the assumption that my dreams or goals or aspirations are "small" because I'm playing small, or I don't value myself enough or I believe I'm not worthy, which for some of my dreams has been true.
Dreams or goals have an energy to them: if you're setting a goal out of lack or fear or "playing small" which in this case means to settle or choose a realistic goal over the actual goal you want to achieve, then your goals will have a heaviness to them. E.g. Saying your biggest dream is of becoming a receptionist in a beauty salon when you actually want to be a beauty therapist.
Adversely, if you're setting a goal out of excitement, joy, fulfilment then your goal is going to have a lightness to it. It will light you up. That doesn't mean there won't be challenge or fear or doubt coming up, the lightness simply means that it feels true for you. E.g. Wanting to be a beauty therapist.
Does the rainforest tell a creek it isn't dreaming big enough, that it needs to be a waterfall instead?
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So let me tell you how I came to this conclusion. Last Friday, I started my morning and tried to write a blog post on natural deodorants. I struggled mentally to get anything out and was getting frustrated. When I went to switch to the other tasks I had planned for today, my body tightened up. I felt a meltdown coming on, so I took myself for a walk.
And I remembered why I go for walks. The clarity and calm you receive is impeccable.
A podcast I was listening to asked me to think of a mentor I look up to, so I paused the episode. When my mind couldn't find anyone, I took a few deep breaths and my friend Rita came to mind, who is a multi-faceted massage therapist, beauty therapist and healer, who uses whatever modalities she wants, who works from home, who spends time in nature and caring for her family. I realised I love her lifestyle, and that is the lifestyle I want for myself. I questioned: "why haven't I thought this before?"
Because I was told to dream "bigger." Because I have been told to ask for "more." Because all of my experiences and teachings have taught me that I am "better than that." Or perhaps that is a judgement I have taken and inflicted upon myself.
But what if what I want is the simple life?
To wake up every day and water my plants, to care for my house and to see a handful of clients throughout my day?
To be a present, loving energy for my husband, my family, my future children, my friends?
To trust in my own divine wisdom, that I know what is best for me?
We are a part of this culture that believes we need to shoot for nothing less than 100k a year, to have all the structures of a business perfected before we can make a difference, to have more, be more, do more.
What if it is simpler than that?
What if we dropped all the rules to our dreams?
What if we let go of the "I have to do x before I do y" and just chose to embody what we want right now?
It's simple. Choose who it is you want to be. Not what you do, but how you go about your day. The energy you carry. Do you want to be excitable and energetic? Do you want to be grounded and calm? Do you want to be loving? Do you want to be trusting?
And if you were that energy right now, what would you do differently?
What would you not be doing?
Ask yourself every moment you catch yourself tightening up. You'll find you'll allow yourself to see the dreams you truly want.
Ash xx
I'd love to hear how this resonates with you! You can connect with me on Instagram at @ashlopezherbaut.
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