In order to be the person you want to be (your highest self, the version of you that you wish you were), you have to be willing to make mistakes.
You have to be willing to get things wrong, to repeat past mistakes, to be the fool over and over.
You have to be willing to get uncomfortable, to stretch yourself, to break down old structures and start again. And you have to be willing to sit in that.
If we avoid mistakes, imperfections, making choices for fear of the first two, we only delay our growth, and therefore our goals, our dreams and our desires.
Burnout is one of the first things that comes to mind for me. I burned myself out a lot working for myself, so when I'd had enough of feeling burnt out, I stepped away from work completely. I don't regret that decision at all (in fact, I made the most money by stepping away from work--and no, not through passive income--but I'll talk more about this another time). And once the dust settled and I no longer felt burnt out, I found myself avoiding work for fear of burnout. I felt discomfort over starting up all my work processes again because I wanted to avoid making the same mistakes, making wrong decisions.
The truth is that I needed some support and my mentor Cassie Mendoza-Jones spoke to me about the pendulum swing from overworking to underworking, a swing that in the past has gone off the chart for me. She asked me a question about where the energy of that swing comes from, to which I answered "not enoughness."
When we believe we're not enough, we will overwork, overcommit, look for external validation through money, praise and recognition, and grasp for perfection, the latter being unrealistic.
So I ask: if you could alter your definition of perfection to feel light on your nervous system, what would it be?
For me? My definition of perfection would become about honouring my needs in any given moment (whether that be to take action or to rest) and to forgive myself when I don't honour those needs. And to trust that if I forget all of this, whatever I do is perfect and enough.
That last line is a beautiful mantra I use from Cass allllllll the time.
How does that feel, when you read that? What sensation does that evoke?
For me, I feel as though I have permission to be free, to do what I want to do, to know that no matter what I do it can't be wrong. Like the world is my oyster!
And that's the version of me I want to step into--free, authentic, creative, playful, loving, whole.
If you struggle with perfection, I implore you to ask these questions in a journal and spend a few minutes with each question:
What does the highest version of me look like/feel like/sound like?
In what ways am I already showing these characteristics?
If I could rewrite the definition of "perfection" what would it be?
If I believed that I am enough as I am, what would I stop doing?
If I believed that I am enough as I am, what thoughts would I think about myself?
What one single small baby step can I take today towards all of this^?
If you would like further support with allowing your highest self to step forward, I still do 1:1 coaching, and I invite you to start a chat in my DM's on instagram @ashlopezherbaut if you'd like to talk further.
AND if you don't reach for further support, how easy can you let it be to step into the person you want to be?
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