We all experiences times in our lives where we want life to be different in one way or another but aren't sure how to get there. Some of us aren't happy with our current situation, others are trying to lead a more purpose-filled life. Either way, it comes down to being uncertain or scared to take a risk. How do we move through this?
Awareness
Understand that "feeling stuck" is an illusion. I feel this way right now, unsure of where I am headed but knowing I want to make change. I have to remind myself that feeling stuck is just me stopping myself from taking action because I'm stuck in my head thinking about all the things that could go wrong, instead of listening to the part of me that says "but what if it goes right?"
Take Time to Be Still
How can you expect to come up with an answer of what you're meant to do or change when you fill up your time with distractions? Better yet, how do you expect an answer to come when you keep thinking about the problem with no change in answers? Last night, Chas could see the stonewalled look on my face as I was thinking about a decision that needs to be made. He told me to stop thinking about it now, and think about it tomorrow. I had to repeatedly tell myself every time a thought came up about the decision "tomorrow." Sometimes it looked like "tomorrowtomorrowtomorrowtomorrwotomorrow" to get my brain to focus. Then when I woke up this morning, all the fear and judgement hit me. Instead of getting straight into work, I took the time to journal, asking myself "what is holding me back right now" and "what is pulling me to do it?" After I had written down all the reasons I cold think of, I went grocery shopping, and I told myself I was going to be as present as possible. After I had been shopping, presently, singing the songs down the aisles quietly to myself, striking up conversation with the check out attendant, I walked to my car, not thinking about anything but the present moment, and got a profound "do it."
I am still yet to make the leap, and this comes down to reservations I have of myself. What's most important to recognise is that there is a part of me that wants to jump, wants to see what she is capable of, wants to live life to the fullest, so that on her death bed she can go out peacefully knowing she gave everything she wanted to do a go, that she has lead the greatest example of trying to live a fulfilling life to her kids.
SO, slow down, be present, give your mind a break.
Inspiration
What lights you up? What are you passionate about in conversation or love learning about?
Is it human rights? Nutrition? Art? Music? Feminism? Teaching people about anything? Plants? Gaming?
For me, it is listening to podcasts on self-development, reading books of the same nature and implementing the tools they provide. This could mean many things for me--maybe I start a podcast, dive into self-development deeper, become a self-development, read more books, write a book, write blog posts more... The possibilities are endless! This is often what stops me from making a move in any direction, because all those ideas excite me!
Knowing, At Least, What You Don't Want
I also love art. LOVE art. I love looking at art and having it around me because it tells a story and inspires me to do what I love, but I don't want to necessarily be an artist. This is a good start. This is very strong knowing for me, that I do not want to be a painter at this point in time. Knowing what we don't want enables us to make choices away from those actions we know are dissatisfying, and allow us to search for different.
The same goes for having kids--I know I want kids, but I also know I don't want to have kids right now. Knowing this allows me to search for jobs, hobbies, activities that fulfil me, until a point in time comes where the decision to have kids fulfils me.
I asked a friend once, who was complaining about his job, what he likes about it. No answer came to the surface. So I asked him what he doesn't like about his job. He said he had trouble with the customers and hated talking to them. The idea came to me that he could learn to deal with customers in a more authentic way that allowed him to walk away from each interaction feeling good, but I've found that most people don't want to do the work, so I said "Well at least you know the area you don't want to be in: customer service." this enabled him to climb the ranks a little--where money, time and power usually motivate people, for him it was the possibility of enjoying the job more, of dealing with customers less frequently.
It's Okay to Not Know and To Make Wrong Turns
We give too much weight to our decisions when we feel stuck. We often forget that every choice we make leads us the right away, even if the decision we make ends up feeling like a mistake. Mistakes are just lessons we haven't learned from yet. What is most important is that we always try to choose a life we want to live. Trying can get you started, but doing, taking action, is what will get you there. Let yourself make "mistakes", let yourself learn how to handle those choices, let yourself try again--this time, with better knowledge and a stronger attitude.
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