When I first started my mental health journey, I was severely depressed and constantly anxious. I had my heart broken (shattered, even), was sexually assaulted and started university all within one month. Life felt rough. I started seeing a psychologist and got on medication. Whilst I am no longer on medication, it lent me the opportunity to be able to get out of bed and function enough to get to the psychologists office (big shout out to Kathy H), where she allowed me to feel my feelings, see where certain issues in my mental health arose from outside of my recent traumas and gave me a shit load of tools that I still use today. Once I was able to see that going to therapy was really valuable, I started questioning other ways that I could easily make my life around me better, especially for those days where I felt shit and those weeks where I couldn't attend therapy because medication only does so much. I needed all my interactions with life to change, and here's where I started.
Unfollow people and pages...
on social media that trigger you, are negative, self-loathing or depressing, and people that you compare yourself to
Start following people and pages that have a positive impact...
to fill your feed with better content. These might be pages you stumble upon, that other people share content from or authors of books and hosts of podcasts that are motivating, inspiring, and promote positive mental health. Once you find one and follow them, click the drop down box to see suggestions for similar people and pages. You can even follow hashtags (yes that is a thing) like self-love, loving kindness, self compassion, inspiring, motivation, etc.
Cut people out of your life...
that are energy drainers or only provide you with negativity (complaining, criticising, venting, judging, etc). This can be done slowly over time by not initiating conversation, telling them that you don’t want to go out with them right now, even being honest with them about how you perceive their friendship to you. Good, true friends will eventually come around, understand and you can assess if they have changed in a way that works for you. The friends you don’t want will leave.
Get outside into the sun...
at least once a week as a minimum. On the weekend, sit outside in the sun with a water, tea, lunch, and just feel the sun on your skin, even if it feels unbearable. It will never kill you or hurt you. Not only is the sun good for your mood through stimulating the production of vitamin D, it can teach you how to sit with discomfort.
I used to sit out there with a smoothie or tea and lay on a mat. Sometimes I would take a magazine out there. Sometimes I would journal. Sometimes I would just lay there, particularly if my mental health was screaming for me to do nothing. Whatever works for me on that day, I will do.
Learn.
Start looking for podcasts, audio-books, books (read free samples on iBooks for a taste test), and blog sites that talk about mental health, neuroscience, emotions, mindfulness, well-being and theories of life that give you tools and activities, and provide other resources and links to the mental health community. If you don’t have knowledge of how certain tools can help you, why would you start using them? Knowledge is power. You can also talk to others about what you learn. It will help them immensely as much as it will cement your learning.
I used to like learning about Buddhism—their values, ways of life, tools to shift mindset—as well as reading up on Gary Van Warmerdam's Pathway to Happiness blogs and audios. I currently enjoy Stoicism and positive psychology. There is no one thing that can answer all your problems and help you completely, but you can choose to take away little bits from each and every theory or way of life that you look into.
Print out quotes that are significant to YOU.
Put these in your room, on your phone wallpaper, in the bathroom and change the quote to something new if you find something better. Set yourself up for success. My psychologist gave me this one and I've used it ever since.
Role models.
This is someone who lives life in a certain way or has certain knowledge that you wish to attain. Find them, listen to them, follow them. It is helpful if you find someone who has been through a similar situation to the one you are struggling with and has come out the other side, so that they give you hope. A role model can even be someone in your personal life, whether they be younger, older, or whether you actually know them or not.
Change the information that comes in.
Do you watch TV shows or movies full of drama, darkness, fear or that trigger you? Put those to the side, for now. Choose things with less heavy content. Search for comedies or light-hearted content. I do this until I am in a good place. When the world is too much for me, I make the information that my mind has to process a bit lighter. When I feel good again, it doesn't matter what I watch. This requires you to be able to check in with where you're at emotionally and make choices accordingly.
Focus on overall health.
The health of your entire body affects your mental health. What you eat and how you eat has a significant impact on your mood. Not just your mindset around food, but also the interactions your gut microbiome has with the food you put in there--the gut has been referred to as the second brain. Eat regular meals, choose healthier options and take note of how our body feels different in a good way. You will feel better even just for taking care of yourself--proving that you care about you.
Exercise, or lack of, plays a role too. There are certain chemicals/hormones are brain and body need to function well that are released during and after exercise: endorphins, serotonin and norphenylephrine. The endorphins are released to minimise our pain experience (both the physical and the perception of pain) and the last two are feel-good neurotransmitters. You have to push yourself enough to get to the point of chemical release--running is an east activity that doesn't take long for it to get hard. Afterwards, your mood is significantly improved. If you can't muster the energy to do an intense workout, at least get your body moving.
Mental health is not a linear journey.
The nature of life is chaotic. So often it is referred to as a rollercoaster--one that you ride blindfolded. All we can do is equip ourselves with the tools to get ourselves back on the ride when we fall off. We will always eventually need to find ways to make life better and easier on ourselves, and we can use these ways to help others too. If you plan on being a parent, not only will you need tools on how to cope with such a dramatic life change, but your children will eventually need them too. The key is to set yourself up for success (no the money kind, the resilient kind), even if you feel unsuccessful. You have to have your own back.
Also, don't judge a book because something or someone sounds either too woo-woo or too scientific. Give things a go, even if they're a bit off-putting. You might find a hidden gem that changes your life significantly. Keep your mind open.
I'm leaving you with a list of people and resources I use and recommend. These people have provided insight, wisdom, ways of thinking and being that I will forever be grateful for. I hope you choose to look into these people and resources or at least follow them on social media or podcasts. You get to choose your environment, and in doing so you choose your mindset.
People and Resources I Use (and recommend):
Red Table Talk (on Facebook Watch)
TEDx talks
Oprah’s Super Soul Sundays (podcast)
Eckhart Tolle on Oprah's SSS (he also has books)
Aubrey Marcus (Instagram and Aubrey Marcus Podcast)
Esther Perel (YouTube videos, Red Table Talk videos, podcasts, books on relationships)
Brene Brown (countless YouTube videos, Ted Talks, on podcasts, books)*
Glennon Doyle (Untamed Book), Andrew Huberman (podcasts, YouTube videos, etc. for reclaiming power)
Ajahn Brahm (Opening the Door of Your Heart)
Duncan Trussell (podcasts)
Bruce Lipton (watch this video)
Cassie Mendoza-Jones (You Are Enough and It’s All Good books)
Melissa Ambrosini (Open Wide book)
Jordanna Levin (Make It Happen book)
Don Miguel Ruiz (The Four Agreements book)
Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. (The Seven Secrets to Happy Healthy Relationships)
The Holistic Psychologist (instagram, new book)
Alexis Fernandez (Do you F*cking Mind Podcast)
Tom Bilyeu (instagram)
The Cosmic Feminist (instagram)
Comments