Sometimes there's just too much to do. You can't keep up no matter how hard you try and that eventually takes a toll on your mental, emotional and physical states. As I like to say "the world's moving too fast for me." You end up wanting a break from life. How do we fit in time for all of our relationships, our professional life, our health, our homes, ourselves?
There's no easy answer to this (as I'm sure you already know) so take a deep breath, have some patience and open your mind to new ways of seeing these ideas, even if you've already heard them before.
Take a Closer Look
One way we realise something isn't working for us is when we become stressed, overwhelmed, drained. What is it exactly that is causing us to feel stretched for time, inundated, obligated, exhausted, lifeless? Is it just one or two things in particular? The first step is an awareness of your feelings, and reflecting on what in particular causes you to feel those feelings the most. From there, you can start to take action.
We'll talk about actions such as changing your routine, seeing how you use your time and reframing how you look at it, repurposing the time you have, and more.
(Keep in mind, I don't have kids, and I'm so certain that it adds on more complexity to my suggestions below, but if you have kids PLEASE keep an open mind--I think part two of this blog is going to be more beneficial for you, however it won't help without the suggestions in this post. Finding balance is work!)
Routine
If you're struggling to find time to "do it all" I can guarantee you that routine alleviates some tension. Maybe your current routine worked once upon a time, but isn't cutting it for you anymore. This is normal, as we all change (if you're not changing, you're not growing and life would sure as hell be boring). Allotting time for the things that bring joy or ease into your life is key--your time is no longer scheduled just for work and sleep.
Of course, we have to work and this takes up a lot of our time, but it's what we choose to do with our time BEFORE and AFTER, as well as how we carry ourselves during work that affect our wellbeing.
Here is my routine most Monday's. I've colour coded it to show you the things I HAVE to do (orange), and the time I have spare that can be spent doing whatever I choose (blue and green).
It all comes down to choice--how do you choose to use that spare time? Do you work more? Clean the house? Scroll on your phone? Sleep in?
Also, how do you talk about the things you do with your time? "I have to do all the groceries today," "I need to clean the house." Is that true? Will the world crumble around you if you try to force that in?
"But I Don't Have Time"
Repurpose Your Time
Let's look at how much time we have in a day: we sleep for 5-8 hours, we eat and cook for 2-3 hours, we work for 8-10 hours. That leaves up to or more than 3 hours unaccounted for. So what are we doing during this time each day? Driving, scrolling on social media, working more, napping, shopping, cleaning... But what if we repurposed this time? Be honest with yourself about the time you have each day, and what you choose to do with it.
Look at your week on a piece of paper, writing down ONLY the obligations (work, driving to work, sleep, eat) and how long each obligation takes out of your day. Now how much time is left each day? This is all the time you have spare--time that you fill with things you have to do, want to do or nothing at all (big advocate over here for being still!). Now that you're able to see all this spare time, it is easier to evenly spread out the things you have to do and want to do.
It also makes you aware of how much time you waste or that you need to MAKE more time.
Create More Time
When you allow yourself to see how much time you have, it can be pretty jolting to see how much time you don't have for all the things you enjoy, want or need. I was there! I made the decision, as hard as it was for a non-morning person like me, to make more time by waking up earlier. You have to find the intrinsic motivation or self-discipline to stick to a new habit that is hard, and if you don't have either of these part 2 of this blog post will help you out, but for now keep reading. If you don't know what intrinsic motivation or self-discipline are, I touch on it in this blog post.
Another really good point is that if your current work schedule doesn't work for you, there is no shame in changing it! Drop to part-time. You have my permission. Some people have no trouble working full-time and fitting in everything else, like my partner. I am not that person. You have to be able to acknowledge that in yourself and not succumb to the shame that surrounds not working a full-time job.
A handy time-saving tip that I use is Click and Collect! I order all my groceries in 30 minutes or less online, then pick it up the next day after I finish work. It even comes to your car!
Another small but mighty way I create more time is by cooking extra at dinner time every night--I always have leftovers, so that we save time not having to look for food to buy on our lunch breaks nor are we spending time preparing a completely different lunch.
Reality Check
If you have an iPhone, I'd like you to go to
Settings, scroll to the very top (yes I said top) until a Search bar appears. Type in Screen Time and click the icon that has an hourglass. A graph will appear, and I want you to click See All Activity. This will tell you how many hours you spend on each of your apps. You can look it by day or by week. If you scroll down further, it even tells you how many times you've picked up your phone. It's pretty shocking if you ask me.
Yes, there are some of us that use our phones for work, but be honest--you get distracted.
What if, during your spare time, you stopped picking up the phone altogether? Put it on Do Not Disturb, put it out of sight, and chose to do something fun or productive? We might actually feel happier! *shook*
Set Timers for Time Management
If you're someone who hyper-focuses on tasks, I guarantee you run out of time for other things too. Set a timer for yourself, not as a time limit, but as an opportunity for you to choose whether you'd like to continue on with the task at hand, or choose something else. This could be a choice to stand up, stretch, take a breather, eat, drink some water, or jump onto something else you wanted to do today.
Multi-task
What if you combined some of the things you feel like you have to do with some of the things you want to do? Phone a friend while you hang out the washing. Listen to a funny or interesting podcast on something you value while you wash the dishes. Have a shower with your partner. Walk the dog as exercise for them AND you, or do it with a family member. Put some music on while you clean the house and sing your heart out.
There's More To It
To do get to this point of having a lifestyle and routine that works for me, I also had to:
(a) recognise the things I WANTED to do that I didn't have enough time for,
(b) have the self-discipline to choose the things I value doing over habits that no longer serve me, like scrolling on social media, binging a TV show, washing clothes when I'm exhausted,
(c) have, know and stick to boundaries, until they're no longer needed
Part 2 of this blog post will address how to balance out our routines when it comes to relationships, house work, hobbies and more, figuring out WHAT we value most or least (as this determines our priorities), how to say no and how to stick to our new lifestyle!
If you want to read that or you enjoyed this post, let me know on social media or subscribe to my blog site and I can e-mail it to you so there's no waiting around for it.
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