Complaining... How many times a day do you complain? Once? Twice? 20 times?
Okay, now how many times a day do you complain out loud?
You'll find that how much you complain out loud is a small fraction of how many times you complain internally, and for those of us that complain out loud 20 times a day, that's saying something...
I've also noticed over the years that people tend to use complaints as a way to start or keep communication going. Do we really want the foundations of our relationships based on complaining? No thank you. Now onto the solution...
What we can do instead, once we choose to be aware of our external and internal complaints is to (1) catch ourselves complaining, (2) ask ''why am I complaining right now? Am I avoiding silence? Trying to create conversation? Creating drama because I'm bored?''
Once you ask, notice the reason why, then (3) let go of it all (how you may ask? become present by taking a deep breath and imagine physically breathing out your frustration, maybe even add a big huff on your exhale, then move on to your next task at hand. Do not go scrolling on your phone--this does not release your frustration, it prolongs it.
The more you do this, the more you'll notice the patterns you fall into and be able to let go easier.
You start to realise quicker that you're creating your own bad mood by complaining, realise life is easier without it, start to go ''oh, I'm trying to make conversation for the sake of it again. I don't need this complaint OR this bad mood'' and let go even easier.
Let me know if this resonated with you!
Ash xx
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